I laid there, unmoving, unflinching, almost uncaring. Every inch of my body was in pain, too much pain to move and almost too much pain to think. I was aware of each and every wound on my body, even though my eyes refused to open and take in my pathetic form. I could feel each abrasion, every cut, every burn, but I could mostly feel where I had been violated the most -the most shameful pain I had in my entire body.
I started to ask why it had been me, what I had ever done to deserve this, but that was stupid. I was already aware of what had been the reason for this. My body had been desecrated and defiled simply because I was my father's only child and he had decided to make enemies of the second most influential gang in the city. I was nothing in this but a bartering chip, something they could use to hurt my father. They were wrong though. My father didn't give two shits about me. In fact, once they realized that and dropped me back on his doorstep, I was likely in for so much worse for having created this headache to begin with.
I felt like crying. Hell, I wanted to cry from both physical and emotional pain. But my tears had long since dried up after my father had realized what a useless son I was going to be to him. I'd already suffered through so much, that I hoped these guys would be more merciful and simply kill me instead of sending me home again. Yes, definitely. Death would be much more welcome than having to go home and face his wrath for having ended up here and having the nerve to show my face to him again.
A deep sigh escaped me, the first sign that I was actually awake and someone who was in the room was quick to move over to me. I twitched unintentionally when I felt the soft touch on the part of my back that was most sensitive, the place just below where my wings protruded from my back. I didn't want to respond to anyone's touches, either positively or negatively. But my body always refused to not at least twitch when someone touched that particular area.
"Your wings... are torn," came a soft voice. I didn't react to his words or the pained sound of his voice. I didn't know why he sounded pained, but I also didn't care. Nor did I care that my wings were torn, as they tore easily, but always healed with time. "I'd told them not to hurt your wings." The pained voice was now tinged with anger, and I had to crack an eye open to figure out why the hell he cared. However, after just a peek, both my eyes now opened wide in surprise.
Crouching down next to me was quite possibly the most beautiful person I had ever seen. His dark olive skin was framed by long silky hair, black as the middle of a moonless night. Both of these things, only made his light green eyes stand out all that much more in the relative darkness of this room. Another involuntary thing happened then -I gasped in utter shock at him. He raised at eyebrow at me, curious as to my response to him. With another deep sigh, I closed my eyes again.
"My wings will heal," I muttered softly. I twitched again as his fingers began making small circles in the area just under my wings and a shudder slid down my spine. Despite my not wanting my body to react to his touch, he knew the exact spot to touch to make me react despite myself.
"It takes time for them to heal, does it not?" he asked, even as he continued the small circles, continued to make me twitch and shudder involuntarily. For a moment, I wondered just what this beautiful man was up to, deliberately continuing his movements.
"Yes," I replied, not wanting to speak more than I needed to, same as I didn't want to move any more than I needed to. Everything hurt on me, everything that is except for where he was currently touching. Where he was currently touching though, was turning very warm and that warmth was spreading to areas I would rather it not. Now I was really glad I was lying on my stomach and not my side. I was reacting in a way I didn't want this man to see.
"Your wings... they are trembling," he whispered. "Are you scared, Sin?" Of course, my wings were trembling. He was touching an erogenous zone on my body, the one place undamaged and they were trembling with feelings of want that I didn't want to express. My antennae curled up into even tighter swirls as I fought against the urges welling up quickly in my body.
"No," I whispered softly. He probably thought I was lying. Faeries were relatively unknown creatures in this realm and I was a half breed, so he most likely mistook my trembling for fear of what he would do to me next.
"Sin, are you lying to me?" he asked, his voice still tender, still soft, the same as the touches he was giving me. I opened my eyes to look into his once again, my heart quickly beginning to beat faster at just the connection.
"No," I said quietly, keeping my gaze steady on those eyes even as every part of my brain screamed at me to look away.
"If you aren't scared, why do you tremble and shudder so?" he asked. He honestly didn't know. He really knew nothing of faeries at all. Slowly, I shifted, forcing him to stop rubbing on that oh so sensitive area, pulling myself up slowly and then turning so that I was facing him fully. I sat back on my heels as his eyes began to slowly roam over my body, widening just slightly as he discovered that I was answering his question with merely changing my positioning. "You're aroused," he murmured thoughtfully, his eyes slowly making their way back to my face and causing me to look away.
"Yes," I said quietly, a blush finally working its way to my face. It was bad enough that he had aroused me, but it was entirely different to have him looking at me in such a manner. I flinched as I felt his fingertips brush my cheek, drawing my eyes back to him. There was now a pained expression on his face, similar to the one I had heard in his voice earlier.
"I'm sorry I let them hurt you, Sin," he whispered softly, causing my eyes to widen in surprise. I was just now realizing that he was far more important than those who had hurt me, perhaps even the leader of this group. And he was apologizing to me.
"No need to be," I said, turning my gaze away again as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to try and suppress the want to cry that was suddenly welling in my chest.
"I am, though. When the suggestion was brought to me to have you kidnapped and held ransom, I had no idea that the actions would be fruitless. At least, fruitless in their intended ways," he added at the end. My body stiffened suddenly as I felt his hot breath against the skin of my neck, once more causing shudders to slide down my spine. "If I had known that you were this beautiful, I would never have let anyone lay a hand on you before we got the response from your father, or even after. I'd never have let someone mar this beautiful, soft skin of yours."
My breath all at once halted completely as I felt lips press against mine, ever so gently, ever so tenderly. Involuntarily, I began to return the kiss, my wings starting to tremble all that much more violently. I knew what was happening, but my brain either refused to comprehend it or simply couldn't. This man, my captor, was kissing me gently after apologizing for letting other hurt me so badly. As the kiss ended and he pulled away, air rushed into my lungs. I kept my eyes closed though, my hands balled into tiny fists as I tried to keep the trembling of my wings from becoming the trembling of my entire body.
"Sin, do you know your father's response to our demands?" he asked. I shook my head slowly, although I was sure that I did know. I was sure my father had said for them to keep me or kill me, as he was done with me. "He said you weren't worth what we demanded. I was told that we could do whatever we wished with you." I swallowed hard as the tears threatened to fall after so many years of having been so very dried up. It was one thing for me to know my father hated my existance, but it was so much different when it had been put into words for me to hear.
"So, now?" I choked out, still struggling to keep my emotions under firm control. I was vanguely aware of two new pains in my already aching body. The one in the palms of my hands where my nails were digging in deep enough to now draw blood as I tried to stop my body from showing my swirling tide of emotion. And the one in my chest, at the knowledge that I wasn't wanted or loved.
"I give you a choice," he replied. One of my antennae perked at this and I opened my eyes to look at him so he knew he had my full attention now. "If I simply asked you what you wanted, what would that be?" I stared at him for several moments, trying to find a way to form my answer that it wouldn't seem at all insulting.
"Death," I finally replied, having given up on trying to find any form of tact. The man's eyes widened a bit in surprise, but then returned to normal.
"Was the treatment here that bad?" he asked softly, letting his fingertips brush over one of the cuts on my collarbone. That was a stupid question. Of course it was that bad. My body showed every bit of how bad it was.
"Of course," I said, my eyes narrowing some in my annoyance. "But that isn't all of why I'd ask for death. I'd rather not live with the memories of the last week here as well as my entire life before hearing it confirmed that my father despises me. I'd rather die now, that have to live with remembering all of the pain I have been through." Only now did an expression of any sort cross this man's face, in the form of a frown as he considered my words.
"Then I will offer you your choices," he said softly. "I can give you the death you desire, I can let you leave here to return to where ever you wish, or you can stay with me and only me." I balked at his offers, mainly his third one, as it made little sense to me. Seeing my confusion, he decided to elaborate. "Should you choose death, I'll try and make sure it is as quick and painless as any death can be. To choose to walk out of here, free, you would have the choice to return to your father or go elsewhere. If you choose to stay with me, it would be as my lover so there would be no fears of someone putting their hands on you ever again, other than me."
"But, I'd still remember," I murmured, my mouth moving before my brain had thought about the words that were coming out of it. A smile slipped across his face, knowing that I was contemplating his third choice, even if I wasn't quite aware of that yet.
"I can help you forgot, my dear Sin," he whispered as he leaned forward again, pressing his lips to mine once more just as tenderly, just as softly. My antennae drooped as my wings began to flutter excitedly, all signs that I wanted his kiss even as I began to kiss him back. I slid my arms around his neck, letting my eyes close slowly and my lips part, giving access to his tongue. He didn't even hesitate for a moment, as he tongue delved in to explore the newly accessible cavern.
Slowly and ever so carefully, his fingers slid down my sides and over my hips, carefully grabbing me just under the thighs and pulling me onto his lap. I moaned softly, my antennae drooping even more and my wings beginning to beat furiously. His lips fell from mine but not from my face as he started to kiss along my jawline, drawing more soft moans from me as I panted in trying to catch my breath.
"Your wings... are beating so fast," he murmured softly between the small kisses he left along my skin. At some point in there, I had begun to notice that everywhere his lips touched, the pain disappeared, allowing me to further enjoy the pleasure his mouth was giving me.
"My wings... reflect my heart," I gasped between pants for air. "They tear when my heart cries. They tremble when my heart quakes. They beat furiously when my heart races." My head fell back, giving him access to my neck, the pain still quickly disappearing under his soft lips.
"So if I can mend your heart, your wings will heal faster?" he asked, all at once stopping to make me look him in the eye again. I stared at him. I didn't have an aswer to that question, as I had never experienced having my heart mended by someone else after it tore.
"I don't know," I finally said. A look I didn't recognize flashed across his eyes and he stood up, picking up with him. Momentarily flustered, I wrapped my legs around his waist and tightened my arms around his neck so he wouldn't drop me. "What... what are you doing?" I asked, my wings now quivering as they continued to beat.
"I'm taking you somewhere more private, warmer, and will let you feel safer, so that I can find out if loving you will help heal your wings," he whispered, with a gentle smile. I felt a blush come to my cheeks again as my wings increased their speed yet again. Burying my face into the crook of his neck, I hid my embarrassed look. "Does that mean you'll let me?"
I nodded slowly and he began to quickly carry me out of the cold concrete room I had been kept in and up a couple flights of stairs.
"In case my choice wasn't very clear," I murmured as he shut heavy oak doors behind him. "I picked door number three, as long as you promise to make me forget everything other than you." He smiled as he sat down on the bed, gently moving his hands around my back so that his fingertips were once more just below my wings. I let out a soft moan and pressed my body harder against him.
"I'll do everything I can until all you can think about is me," he whispered, smiling as he claimed my mouth in a deep and passionate kiss. As I returned his kiss, I had a feeling he would succeed in his promise. Since at just that moment, the only thing on my mind was what he was doing to me, having already forgotten everything that had previously been done.