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About Literature / Hobbyist Rita SmyserFemale/United States Group :iconwao-rps: WAO-RPS
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I've read, skimmed through this once before and I must have forgotten to comment. As is, other than a few spelling mistakes, I find thi...


Where to start... I guess I will start with one of the things that stood out to me, the dialogue. While it isn't mentioned that Eric is...

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It was a Friday night like any other in modern history. It was Homecoming at the high school and the majority of students were in attendance at the football game. Seemed like half the county was there too to represent their alumni classes and tailgate. Seriously, who tailgates for high school football games? But it was a night like this that changed everything for our little community.

For almost twenty years now, there have been random school shootings and every time a new one happens the adults always say that they never thought it would happen in their community. It's such a naive way to view the world, but adults like to put on blinders to the consequences that always seem to follow the judging they do and the bullying they allow their children to do. Not all of the bullied or judged kids had support systems or were able to compartmentalize the crap they took and would go postal on their tormentors.

That Homecoming night was one of those points where someone couldn't take anymore. I was sitting in the part of the bleachers sectioned off for the band, my best friend was sitting across the stairs and trying hard to act like he was interested in the game, and my boyfriend was... Well, I had no idea where my boyfriend Jake was that night. I was actually kind of glad that he wasn't around. Things hadn't been good between us the last few months, but I was hesitant to break up with him because he'd been dealing with a lot of shit since he refused to hide our relationship.

The stadium erupted into cheers as the ball crossed into our end zone and I pulled my trumpet to my lips so that we could start our fight song. It never failed that when our team scored we played it. Suddenly, a cannon went off and the entirety of the bleachers rocked violently. The cheers turned to screams and I lowered my trumpet as I looked around in an effort to figure out what was going on.

All around me, the world erupted into chaos and terror. I could hear more cannon-like booms and the bleachers rocked on every other one. The sound of the metal buckling reached my ears and I understood why everyone was panicking and trampling each other to get off the bleachers. They were collapsing and I knew in my head how dangerous it would be to be on the bleachers when they crumpled under me. But then something that sounded like one of Jake's video games only louder started to erupt and even more people began screaming.

"Adym!" my best friend yelled, grabbing my wrist to pull me with him.  I stumbled after him, still in shock over this scene that seemed to be playing straight out of a nightmare.  I let Nick pull me down the metal and concrete steps until a deafening and bone rattling noise came from my right and we were both thrown off our feet. I felt arms wrap around me as Nick grunted and painfully loud noises of crunching metal and concrete echoed all around my head.

"Shit!" Nick hissed and I tried to open my eyes to see what was wrong. I whimpered at the pain that the act caused me. "Don't open your eyes, Adym..." he said softly even as I felt his hand brushing something off my face. "Too much dirt... and... I can see who is shooting from here..."

"Wh-who?" I asked, keeping my voice low like he was.

"Chris Smith, Alyssa Clark, Seth something... and Jake," he said and I swore I could hear the hesitation when he mentioned my boyfriend. I shook my head a little,  unable to believe that my boyfriend would be involved in this. Though that nagging feeling was there. The others he'd named had been the kids Jake hung out with when he wasn't with me. I flinched at the sound of gun shots growing closer to us and then whimpered in pain the movement had caused.

"Jake... don't..." Nick pleaded as I felt his body shift slightly to look up. I managed to open my eyes enough to see a blurry and red version of my boyfriend's face. "It's Adym! Your boyfriend! Don't do this, Jake!" There wasn't a verbal answer, but a couple of loud pops that left my ears ringing and an excruciating burning pain in my shoulder.

Nick screamed before hiding his face in my shoulder, his hands tightening in my band uniform. I was able to see enough to watch Jake walk away from us before I moved my hand to Nick's side. I didn't feel the same soaking wetness that was on my chest, but a warm wetness was starting to soak through the thick polyester pants of my band uniform.

"You're bleeding..." I breathed, trying to move my hand to find the source.

"So are you..." he replied. "But I'm also pinned..." I frowned and shifted until I could reach where he was bleeding. It only took me a minute before I realized there was too much blood and I started to take off his belt. "Adym... what are you doing?" he asked, almost sounding embarrassed.

"Too much blood," I muttered, grinding my teeth some as I tried to ignore how moving my arms made the place Jake shot me hurt more. "Need to... make a tourniquet... and I don't have a belt..."

"Adym..." Nick groaned, moving enough to let me get the belt around his thigh and tighten it enough to slow the bleeding. "We need to get out of here, Adym..."

"We're pinned... and my phone is in my trumpet case..." I muttered. My trumpet case being all the way in the band room on the other side of the bus parking lot. There was even the baseball field between the football stadium and the parking lot.

"Mine's in my back pocket..." he murmured and I shifted my hand so that I could get it out for him.

"You call..." I said softly, letting my aching eyes close. My head hurt and my vision wasn't getting any clearer and I felt really tired.

"Okay... but keep talking to me, Adym..." he said and I could hear his fear and pain in his voice. I vaguely listened as  he talked to a 9-1-1 operator, but used my fingers clenching in his shirt to both keep myself awake and let him know that I was alive. I heard the sirens of the emergency vehicles, the voices of the police over the megaphones telling them to lower their weapons. I heard the barrage of bullets and I just knew that everything was over.

"They're coming to help us, Adym," Nick said and I blinked for a moment. It was enough to see the firemen coming over and I gave him a small smile.

"Good..." I murmured, letting my eyes close again. Both of us ended up crying out as the metal bleachers were cut to free us. Before they were done, Nick's body went completely slack and I could only guess that he'd passed out from blood loss or the pain. I barely made it into an ambulance before I passed out myself.
171 deviations
So like we all know, I went back to school in like 2012... And having to focus on and remember things that had nothing to do with my wonderful stories and lovely characters slowed down my writing a lot. Well, when a job in that line of work didn't pan out, I took the H&R Block tax training class and became a tax professional! Yay! Applause! Woo!

Yeah... This part time job has literally taken over my life and it is still only PART TIME! It feels full time though since I end up working 4-6 days a week even if it's only for an hour or two. Yay appointments in the preseason.

Well, I've set myself up to have even less time and less ability to creatively think. I submitted the application to be an office manager and they accepted it. So I'll be running an office, which means I get to stress about things I have no real control over.

But before you panic, yes, we are still writing, I am still writing. There is just too much jumping around from story to story to go getting you all involved with characters that we might not touch again. So don't worry. Things will one day appear in  your in boxes!
  • Watching: The Walking Dead
  • Drinking: Diet Mt. Dew

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Soleste81
Rita Smyser
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
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So like we all know, I went back to school in like 2012... And having to focus on and remember things that had nothing to do with my wonderful stories and lovely characters slowed down my writing a lot. Well, when a job in that line of work didn't pan out, I took the H&R Block tax training class and became a tax professional! Yay! Applause! Woo!

Yeah... This part time job has literally taken over my life and it is still only PART TIME! It feels full time though since I end up working 4-6 days a week even if it's only for an hour or two. Yay appointments in the preseason.

Well, I've set myself up to have even less time and less ability to creatively think. I submitted the application to be an office manager and they accepted it. So I'll be running an office, which means I get to stress about things I have no real control over.

But before you panic, yes, we are still writing, I am still writing. There is just too much jumping around from story to story to go getting you all involved with characters that we might not touch again. So don't worry. Things will one day appear in  your in boxes!
  • Watching: The Walking Dead
  • Drinking: Diet Mt. Dew

Journal History

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:icontripx713:
tripx713 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2016
thank you for the llama!
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(1 Reply)
:iconslimies:
slimies Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2015
thankyou very much for the llama its llovely
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(1 Reply)
:iconshikyo-uchiha:
Shikyo-Uchiha Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey I just wanted to drop by and let you know that you're writing continues to be the best I've ever come across. Your name is always at the back of my mind when I read things, just wondering if they will stack up to the countless chapters and stories I have gotten to enjoy from you. I really hope you're doing good in your life and will always secretly wait for you to write more and bless us with your awesomeness once again :) may the force be with you~
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(1 Reply)
:iconlionshallroaw:
LionShallROAW Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2015
i was going through my badges and i saw that you were the first person to ever give me a llama badge and then i saw that i hadn't returned the favor so there it is
Fabulous!   
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(1 Reply)
:iconredhoodedbluebird:
RedhoodedBluebird Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2015  Student General Artist
Thank you for the llama, and I enjoyed your story, 'Heavenly Lover'.
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(1 Reply)
:iconsheeploop:
sheeploop Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for :+fav::iconkissingplz:
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(1 Reply)
:iconcallmelilith:
CallmeLilith Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav!!!! Llama Emoji 27 (Awesome) [V2] 
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(1 Reply)
:iconcowra:
cowra Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015
Happy Birthday!  Free Birthday Icon 
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(1 Reply)
:iconeniell:
Eniell Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2015
Thanks for the fave :)
Strawberry Milk and Mayonaise by Eniell
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(1 Reply)
:icon13leagues:
13Leagues Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Student Writer
Thanks for the llama!
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(1 Reply)
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