Monster 40

"I suppose this makes it my turn?" Tarot asked softly. I nodded a little, but didn't say anything as I didn't want to put any more pressure on him than I was sure I already was. He pulled back from me and sighed softly, his eyebrows scrunching together as he seemed to think, most likely about where to even start. Finally, he took a deep breath, his eyes moving to stare at his feet.

"I didn't start martial arts until I was seven," he started and I scowled a bit in confusion. Our father had pushed me into martial arts by the time I had started kindergarten and I had assumed he'd pressed for the same from Tarot. "Up until then... I had no idea how to..." He paused a moment, swallowing hard. "Defend myself." He swallowed again, closing his eyes this time and I could feel the apprehension tightening my chest. "My mother... she worked a lot. Even though Carson was giving us money, she still had to pull a lot of hours sometimes."

"Tarot-" I started, feeling guilty that I was putting him through even more pain, but he cut me off sharply.

"Don't you dare stop me, Jinx!" he snapped, his voice breaking with unshed tears. "You do and I'll never be able to start again," he added, his voice softening. I bit my lip to keep from speaking out again as I watched him take a few more deep breaths and begin to wring his hands. "W-when my mother worked a lot... she got one of her college... friends to watch me." I almost growled as he said 'friends', my mind already spiralling down into the darkness of what things like this generally led to. They were the things that made my mother stay home with me all the time when I was younger, before she believed I had become too violent and even awhile after.

"I called her my aunt because of how good a friend she was with my mother. Aunt Sandra." My chest began to ache as I watched the silent tears begin to trickle down his cheeks, even if he seemed to be ignoring them. "She would... do things and... t-touch me..." My hands clenched tightly for a moment as he screwed his eyes shut. I knew he was trying to push the images away that talking had brought up and before I realized what I was doing, I had my arms wrapped around his shoulders with my forehead resting on top of his. "It lasted months..." he choked out and for a long time after that he was silent. Part of me understood just where his voice had gone as I felt the silent sobs wrack his body, but that was also the same part of me that had originally been shocked when someone tried to touch me. However differently I may have reacted, this wasn't my story. It was my brothers and all I could do in this moment was offer him the same comfort he had given me and began running my fingers through the back of his hair.

"How old?" I asked softly and immediately tightened my hold on him as he shuddered. When he didn't answer, a bit of the building rage in my chest leaked out as I repeated myself more firmly. "How old, Tarot?"

"Five," he whispered and I closed my eyes tightly to fight down the rage that was quickly consuming me.

"Shit," I breathed, completely unable to fathom how anyone could touch a child so young. I ground my teeth together, wishing more than ever that I had known him longer. Maybe then... maybe... he wouldn't have had to suffer. I forced myself to focus on comforting him for now as he buried his face into his hands, his entire body still trembling. "You've never told anyone... have you?" I asked, my mind truly beginning to buzz. Even if our father hadn't acknowledged him, there was no way in hell he would have let anyone touch one of his sons like that and live another day. He shook his head a bit.

"I... I told D-dani. He asked why I... why I didn't do girls..." he stuttered, trying to wipe the tears from his face, but it was all in vain as they kept falling. "At the time, I wouldn't even look at them. H-he wouldn't stop asking me about it and... I finally broke down and told him..." I took several long slow deep breaths to steady myself. I had to keep reminding myself that the person I wanted to vent my anger on wasn't here, only my brother was here.

"What happened to her?" I asked, some of the anger I felt tinting my voice. I was angry that someone had hurt my brother when he was so vulnerable and I was angry that it seemed to have pushed him into a sexual preference. For me, it was just as unforgivable that she may have caused him more trouble because he now took on male sexual partners as it was that she'd molested him.

"Disappeared," he muttered. "Just... dropped off the face of the Earth or some shit like that... I didn't really care enough to ask." If Tarot hadn't told anyone about what happened, then it was likely she was running around free somewhere. It didn't matter that eighteen years had passed since then. She wasn't going to be able to keep running much longer.

"I'm sorry, Tarot," I murmured, squeezing him a little tighter. "But thank you nonetheless." He leaned into me and we sat there for the longest time, as he tried to collect himself again. I, on the other hand, was trying to figure out just how I was going to track this woman down without spilling Tarot's secret to others. I figured, I had a week before I could go back to work without people staring at my back or the burns, so I had a week to find this woman and confront her.

"Jinx?" my brother said after awhile, his voice finally not cracking.

"Yeah?" I replied absently, my brain still pushing around ideas on how to get what I needed without telling anyone anything important.

"You can let go now," he said and I instantly removed my arms, allowing him to sit up straight again. "Still new to this whole 'brotherly love' thing. It's rather awkward, you know?" I chuckled softly, but it sounded strained even to my ears.

"Ah, yeah, I know," I said absently, my eyes unfocused.

"Jinx? This changed things, didn't it?" he asked and I blinked rapidly in confusion, refocusing my eyes on him. He wasn't looking at me and a deep frown was pulling at the corners of his mouth. I sighed and brushed my hair back from my face.

"Yes," I said and rolled my eyes as his head began to drop. "But not in a bad way. You're less of a stranger now and more of the person I should have known my entire life." I smiled a bit as he blinked in surprise, his eyes widening a bit. "Ah, but that reminds me. Dani wanted you to know he called." I tried not to frown as even more surprise registered on his face.

"Dani called?" he asked, starting to search his pockets for his phone. I sighed and got up, heading back to the bedroom where I had set the phone down.

"He did," I said, raising my voice enough to carry to him. "I didn't get to answer it until the third time though. So you have two missed calls and I think a voicemail," I continued as I came back out and handed him the phone. I frowned a bit as he stared at his phone, worry creasing his brow. "He said it wasn't anything important, but wanted to be sure you knew he called."

"Thanks..." he murmured, still staring at his phone. "Do you mind if I..." his voice trailed off and I offered up the best fake smile I could.

"Of course," I replied. "The room you were in... is yours to use as you need to." He nodded and walked away, shutting the door most of the way to I guess call Dani back. I knew I was jealous of Dani, but only because he knew so much about my brother and had known him for so much longer. I wanted to have that kind of close relationship with Tarot, but I was almost afraid it was too late for that. We were at the age that most brothers began to drift apart, not actually get to know each other.

I sighed, walking to my room and getting dressed. Even if I was doomed to an aquaintence type relationship with my brother, there was something I could do for him. Well, maybe it wasn't so much for him, but I hoped that it could bring some sort of closure to the pain he was still feeling. But to do it, I wanted to do it sooner rather than later, and that meant going to see my father. I smiled a bit as I heard the front door open and the rustle of grocery bags and keys.

"Jinx," Brad said smiling as I came out of the room. I wrapped my arms around his neck, giving him a quick kiss before he could set the bags of groceries down. "You got dressed. Are you going somewhere?" he asked softly as Hides took the bags from him.

"There's something that I need and it's something I can only really get from my father," I replied. "So, I'm going to go see him." He frowned a bit, but pulled my car keys from his pocket anyhow.

"Do you want me to drive you?" I shook my head and grabbed the keys, giving him another quick kiss.

"It's alright," I said quickly. "Just let Tarot know he can stay for dinner if he wants to. I should be back by then." I started to turn away to head for the door when Brad's arm slipped around my stomach.

"Not that you should need it, but just in case," he whispered and his other hand came around to show me my blade. I took it from him carefully, turning my head to give him a small smile.

"Thanks, hon," I whispered and pulled away, snapping the blade in place under my belt as I walked out of the apartment. I took the stairs, much the same as I had when running for my life, enjoying the exercise and excitement of hopping from bannister to bannister. Driving to my father's main office, I couldn't help but to keep turning Tarot's words over in my head. Granted he hadn't given me any details, but I had a pretty good imagination. I had never been a fan of someone touching me without my desire for them to do it, but I couldn't imagine not being able to fight them off. The more I thought about it, the angrier I grew and the harder I pressed on the gas pedal of my car.

I made it to the office building in less time than usual and for a brief moment I had to laugh at the thought that Tarot's driving habits were rubbing off on me. I ignored the stares from the employees still around on a Sunday and made my way to the elevators. It may have been Sunday, but I knew my father had a horrible habit of working crazy hours and it had only gotten worse since I moved out of the house. I gave the secretary in front of the office my work smile and walked up to the door, knocking on it with purpose.

"Come in," my father called in his deep work voice. I opened the door and slipped inside, closing it softly behind me. "Jinx? What brings you by today?" I gave a brief smile as his eyes roamed my face, taking note of the burns he could still see.

"I need a favour," I said, walking over to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk. He arched an eyebrow questioningly, but motioned for me to go on. "I need to find someone."

"Well, I have plenty of people who can help you with that," he said, starting to reach for his phone.

"I have to do this, Father," I said firmly. "It's a bit of a personal matter that I don't really want to have to explain to anyone." He sat back in his chair, pressing his fingertips together as he silently regarded me and my desire.

"What do you need?" he finally asked.

"I need a computer, preferably a laptop, but one of the ones your techs use would be most appreciated," I said quickly. "You have the fastest computers out there and enough backdoor programs for hacking to make even the government jealous. I am certain that I will need them in order to find the person I am looking for." My father frowned a bit, leaning forward again.

"Jinx, you aren't getting yourself mixed up in anymore trouble, are you?" he asked, concern painted clearly across his face. I sighed softly.

"Most likely, a bit," I confessed. "But... I have to do this. My conscience won't be at ease until I find this person and make them pay. If it will help assuage your worry any, when I find this person, I'll allow you to treat me as one of your agents and monitor me." He stared at me again for another long moment, considering everything I said and most likely the seriousness of my request. If I was offering to allow him to monitor my actions, he had to know I was deadly serious about doing this. I had always complained about the people he had following me and the bodyguards that had at one time always been by my side.

"You'll allow me to monitor your actions?" he asked and I nodded in confirmation.

"But only if it's Dani," I quickly added. "I don't like the idea of someone I don't know keeping an eye on me." He nodded a bit absently and started to stand.

"Well, if you're willing to go that far, then I'm not really in a position to refuse to help you," he said, walking around his desk. "Let's head downstairs and get that laptop for you." I smiled and stood as well, following him out of the office and to the elevator. We stopped on the eighth floor, the few techs who were there looking up with no small amount of surprise to see the boss.

"Mr. Moon!" a young nerdy looking woman said, quickly standing up to greet my father. "Is there something we can do for you?" I could tell she was trying hard not to look at me, her eyes lingering on my burns whenever she would.

"I need one of our laptops," Carson replied, his voice back to business as usual. She blinked a bit in surprise and turned to one of the other guys in the room.

"Do we have one that hasn't been messed with by Dani yet?" she asked the guy.

"Actually, if it has Mr. Lowell's programs on it, it would be even better," my father said, interrupting whatever the guy was about to say. "So do we have one?"

"We do," the guy said, getting up when the woman still stood frozen in surprise. At least someone understood that what Carson wanted, you gave him, even if you didn't understand why. He came back with a black laptop bag, handing it to me instead of my father. I grinned. Perhaps this guy wasn't just another computer nerd. "That's the fastest one we have and it has all of Dani's programs on it, so whatever you end up doing, it can't be traced back to here." He made sure that he was looking at my father even as he was addressing me. I guess he had been around long enough to know proper etiquette within the business walls.

"Thank you, Mr. Clarkson," Carson said. "Be sure to have a requisite order put in to replace this." Mr. Clarkson nodded and we turned to head back to the elevators. My father walked me out to my car, his face hiding his concern from the other staff around, but I could see it in his eyes. He was a bit troubled with granting me this request.

"Jinx," he said, turning to me finally, once there was no one around to hear us. "I don't know what it is you have to do, but please, make sure you are healthy again before you do anything." I smiled, giving him a nod of reassurance.

"Don't worry, Father," I said. "I plan to be one hundred percent before I do anything."

"I'm holding you to your promise of letting Dani monitor your movements," he said, his voice trying to come across stern, but I knew he was worried.

"Of course," I replied and gave him a quick hug. He stiffened for a moment, not used to me showing  him any sort of affection and then smiled, patting my head.

"I'll have a new cellphone delivered tomorrow. And when you are ready to do whatever this is that you need to, you have free reign to take anyone or anything you need to get it done. You understand?" I nodded and he patted my head again before heading back towards the building. I knew my father cared, even if he had trouble showing it in a manner that most fathers did. If he hadn't chosen to take a dirty route to go with his business, then he likely would have been so much better.

I got in the car, starting it up before heading towards home. I needed to stop by Dani's apartment before I went home to ask a couple of questions before I could get started on my search. Thankfully, they were pretty mundane questions, but Tarot would likely get more suspicious than Dani. I could only hope that was the case as I pulled into the parking garage for my building. I slipped the laptop bag on my shoulder and as quickly as I could with the skin pulling on my thighs, ran up the steps to the floor with Dani's apartment on it. I knocked quickly on the door, my eyes darting back and forth down the hallway.

"Who is it?" Dani's tired voice asked from behind the cracked open door.

"It's Jinx," I said quickly. "I just have a couple of questions." I heard him sigh, but he still opened the door and let me in.

"What is it?" he asked, seemingly annoyed with either my waking him up or my presence there. I didn't really care at the moment though, as I just needed a couple of answers and he was much more likely to give them without being nosy about why if he was tired.

"What's Tarot's mother's name?" I asked and he paused, turning to raise a questioning look to me.

"Why don't you just ask Tarot?" I sighed and rolled my eyes a bit. I was wrong about being tired making him less annoying with how quick his brain worked.

"Because," I said growing impatient. "I've already asked more than I should have today and I don't want him to catch on to what I'm going to do." Now his eyes narrowed at me and I crossed my arms over my chest, scowling back at him.

"What are you going to do?" he asked, the tiredness in his voice quickly dissipating.

"Nothing that you need to know about," I replied.

"Then get your answers from Tarot," he snapped back and I sighed. "Does your father even know that you're planning anything?" I rolled my eyes at the mention of my father. God, he was a total lackey for the man.

"Yes, my father knows I'm going to do something that will likely get my ass in trouble," I said. "But all he knows is that it's important enough to me that I'm willing to be supervised to do it. You will be the one monitoring me when I do. Now... answer my question," I repeated, trying not to roll my eyes at his shocked expression.

"Your father is condoning this?" he asked, surprise filling his voice. I nodded and he finally sighed and went over to his desk. "Tarot's mother's name, you said? Is there anything else?"

"Where she went to college," I replied and his head once again whipped in my direction.

"He told you?" Dani asked, surprised as he put the pieces together. I nodded. "And you plan to..."

"Make her pay," I finished for him. He sighed and wrote down the information I had asked for on a sticky note and handed it to me.

"You know, right now, you remind me of your father," he said, his voice rather disappointed. I took the yellow note and slipped it into the laptop bag with a frown. I still hated being compared to that man, but I already knew that at this point, I was acting like my father.

"Well, if it could ease Tarot's pain any, I will act like my father any day," I stated coldly. "Thank you, Dani." With that, I turned and walked out, making my way to the elevator to head up to my floor. One thing that I had always agreed with my father on was that no one messed with my family and got away with it. This woman had gone eighteen years without paying the price for hurting my brother and I was determined that she wouldn't make it another month without paying the piper.