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To Unlock His Heart 16

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Tuesday morning came quickly and I was just as quick to shove down the lingering memory of the dreams from the night before. I knew that if I didn't, things would be rather awkward when I saw Serj at lunch today. He was doing his best to fend off the rumours that he was gay, he didn't need me staring at him as memories of my dreams lately floated through my head. Actually, neither of us really needed that right now. I was in just as bad with the rumour that Serj and I were dating. Just saying I wasn't gay wouldn't help that and might only make things worse for Serj in the end.

Even without my denial, people were still on about the rumour of Serj and I dating when I got to school. I really did want to deny it all, but at the same time no one was asking me if it was true or not. It was like they just assumed that since the rumour of Serj being gay came out first, that the rumour that we were on a date Saturday had to be true. It made me blush a little to think that Serj may have also not been denying such rumours and the idea of him wanting it to be true did cross my mind more than once. What I did have to deal with though, was more than one person asking if I was alright. Apparently, I looked a little feverish or something. I was just tired. That was all.

In gym class, Skylar still seemed as unamused as he had the day before at lunch, though he wouldn't answer me when I asked if he was alright. I frowned, but shrugged it off. It didn't seem like he was all that willing to share anyhow and I wasn't much of one to push an issue that clearly didn't involve me. I followed him out into the gym and sat down on the bottom of the bleachers. I was definitely tired and while I hadn't had nightmares the night before, I definitely had some vivid dreams. It was the only thing I could think of for why I felt so run down, even after the harsh practice I had the day before.

"If it isn't the loser of the friendly little wager," I heard someone yell across the gym, catching the attention of myself and several other bored students. "Go figure, of all the soccer players, it was the one you didn't expect!" I cocked an eyebrow as Skylar's hands clenched at his sides and he strode purposefully over to the boy I knew now was the captain of the wrestling team, Ricky Williams. I remembered him from my first day here and the soccer ball Skylar had sent into his face for some reason or another. I watched as Skylar spoke quietly to the wrestler and my other eyebrow went up when a finger was pointed in my direction. I could almost feel the stifling pressure coming off of my friend as he walked over to me and motioned for me to come to him.

"Peanut, please forgive me," Skylar muttered after he swallowed hard and placed his hands on either side of my face. I blinked in surprise, my eyes widening as his head began to come down towards mine and he tilted my face up. Shock flooded my system as his lips touched mine and I initially tried to pull away, but his grip was too firmly locked in place. I pressed my hands to his chest and his lips began to move, slowly and softly. My fear was suddenly pushed aside as my natural instincts kicked in after my brain began to register that it liked it and I began to return the kiss. My eyes fell closed as my hands went from pushing Skylar away to gripping his shirt tightly.

He had just begun to try and deepen the kiss when Coach Moon's voice boomed through the silent gymnasium. We both jerked back in surprise, dark coloured blushes rising to our faces, though I was sure for quite different reasons. My hand came up to my lips as I stared at him, wide-eyed for a long moment before Coach Moon came up, demanding to know what was going on. I couldn't answer. I had no idea what the hell had just happened other than my friend had kissed me and I had liked it, even responded to it! Swallowing hard, I turned and bolted, grabbing my white board from the bleacher before tearing off in the direction of the locker room. I needed to be far, far away from the gym and Skylar right then to try and figure it all out.

I changed quickly in the locker room, taking my bookbag with me as I fled as far from the scene as I could get. I wasn't really thinking about where I was going and just ended up going upstairs, as far as I could get. It landed me at the door to the roof, but I was afraid if I opened it some alarm or another would go off or I'd get stuck outside. So instead I just sat down, hugging my knees to my chest with my back against the door. I couldn't believe that Skylar had just kissed me, though he initially seemed reluctant to do it, his lips had said something completely different.

What bugged me most, wasn't so much that my friend had just kissed me and most likely at the behest of that wrestler jerk, but that I had liked it. I had even responded to it! What the hell was wrong with me? Dreaming about Serj, kissing Skylar and all while protesting that I wasn't gay. Did those things mean I was interested in other boys? Mentally, I groaned, pulling at my hair to try and make sense of it all.

I had liked the kiss, but I couldn't deny that for a moment when my eyes were closed a different face had flashed through my mind. I could still feel the tingle on my lips from the kiss and once again, the thought of how different it might have been if it had been Serj crossed my mind. Just the thought of Serj kissing me made my heart flutter in my chest and my face burn with the heat of a deep blush. Oh fuck. That was not a normal reaction to the thought of kissing another guy. What the hell was happening to me? Why the hell was I reacting like this towards another guy?

I sat there for the longest time, trying to sort everything out and make sense of my own reactions. By the time the bell rang for the next period, I had given up trying to make heads or tails of it and had decided to simply go straight to Serj. Even if the rumours weren't true, he might at least be able to help me understand why I was reacting the way I was. At least, I hoped he could help me understand. I wasn't sure who else I could turn to for this kind of advice. Despite Kyle saying he didn't care if I was gay or not, I wasn't comfortable bringing up the topic and he was stuck at work. There was Alex, but I didn't know her well enough to be comfortable talking with her.

The news of my kiss with Skylar was quick to get around and I could already hear whisperings of it in my classes after gym. I did my best to ignore it all, trying to at least focus on my lectures, but I couldn't even focus on those with the thoughts rolling around constantly in my head. By the time lunch came around, I was needing to see Serj. I had to get this figured out soon or else I was sure I would lose my mind. It was all just too confusing for me to figure out on my own. Unfortunately for me, neither Skylar nor Serj came out during lunch and I was left to stew even longer over the entire thing.

Not seeing either of my friends at lunch did not help at all and I was completely zoned out during Geometry. I was still zoning and staring out of the window in Russian when suddenly someone slammed their hands on my desk. I jerked to attention, my head whipping around to find one of my classmates staring at me rather angrily. I pulled back a little, a bit intimidated and quite confused as to why he would be angry at me. As far as I knew, I hadn't done anything to anybody in this class.

"How could you?" he hissed and I blinked stupidly at him, having absolutely no idea what he was talking about. "You've got the perfect guy so wrapped around your little finger that he can't see anyone else but you and yet you go and kiss his best friend in the middle of gym class! I have no idea what Serj even sees in you, but you don't deserve him! He deserves so much better than a little whore like you who spreads his legs for anyone." With that he turned and stomped off to his desk, leaving me to sit there stunned. I had no idea what had brought on that rant, but I was guessing that he may have liked Serj and that he believed the rumours running around at the moment. I sighed and shook my head, turning my eyes back out the window. Just one more thing I need to talk to Serj about when I saw him again.

Last period was actually worst of all of them. All of the cycling thoughts running rampant through my head combined with the fact that I was already tired seemed to come to a peak. I had trouble keeping my eyes open as the teacher read and all I could really hear were the words of the boy in my previous class. He had seemed so certain that Serj and I were together, like it made a difference to him. Serj was my friend and while right this moment I was wondering what it would be like to kiss him, it was all we were. Though, I supposed that it was quite likely that there was someone out there who was much more fully aware of what they wanted and that just happened to be my rather good looking friend.

I groaned as the bell rang and slowly collected my bag. I was feeling more sluggish than I could remember feeling in quite awhile and I suddenly began to dread the thought of having a game tonight. Trudging into detention, I didn't look up when my name was called. Instead, I just slumped into a desk, burying my head into my arms to try and catch a nap so that I might have some energy for the game tonight. Unfortunately, Coach Tucker didn't seem to think that I should be left alone and after a few minutes, came over and laid his hand on my forehead.

"What the hell are you doing here, Nikolai?" Coach Tucker asked as he withdrew his hand from my head. "You're sick. Go home." I picked my head up, shaking it slowly in objection. I had a game tonight and I needed to talk to Serj. I didn't really understand completely what had happened in gym today, but I knew he could make sense of it for me. "Why the hell not?"

First game tonight, I scrawled slowly across my board. And I'm just tired. Decent sleep has been eluding me the last few nights. He frowned and motioned Mike over to him.

"Run to my office and get my bottle of aspirin from the drawer, would you?" Mike nodded a bit and cast me a bit of worried glance before leaving the room. "When he gets back, I want you to take a couple of those aspirin and rest for a bit. If you're still 'tired', then I want you to go home and I'll talk to Coach Moon about why you won't be there tonight. Agreed?" I sighed and nodded, having the distinct feeling that it was either accept his deal or go home now. When Mike returned, he dumped a couple of the coated pills into my hand and I pulled my water bottle from my bag.

"Nikolai, is that your lunch?" Mike asked, his eyes catching the untouched food in my bookbag. I shrugged a little and nodded before taking the aspirin like I'd been told to do. I laid my head down on the desk, enjoying how cool it felt against my skin. "You should eat. If nothing else, it will help the medicine work better." I smiled faintly at the concern, but my head was far too cluttered to think about eating. I let my eyes close briefly, once more hoping to catch a few minutes of a power nap to re-energize myself. I could have sworn I had just closed my eyes when I felt a hand on my head again.

"Go home, Nikolai," Coach Tucker said as my eyes opened and glanced up at him. "You aren't in any shape to be trying to play tonight." I sighed and nodded, slowly dragging myself up from the desk. I really didn't feel all that great, but it was still mostly tiredness I felt. Like my entire body was trying to wade through a pool of molasses.

I left the room, but I didn't head for the exit of the building. Instead, I wanted to find Serj still. I had the distinct feeling I could make the majority of this feeling go away if I could just talk to him. Especially since what bugged me wasn't that Skylar had kissed me or that I hadn't been disgusted by it, but that I had wished it had been my other friend. That was the part I didn't understand. Why had I wanted it to be Serj's lips on mine? He was my friend, but I hadn't thought I had or been aware of feelings beyond just friendship. Maybe I still didn't and I was just confused by everything.

I was still lost in my own musings as I turned the corner for the locker room. I was early for the others to be here getting ready for the game, but I hoped that maybe I would find Serj here. Sighing because I knew I was probably going to end up missing our first game and having no idea if or when Serj would arrive in the locker room, I paid little attention to much of anything as I pulled the door open. Unfortunately, I wasn't greeted by an empty locker room. No, instead I had finally found Serj, but he was engaged in quite a serious lip lock with none other than the person who had made Skylar kiss me earlier that day.

I stared in horror for a long moment before I felt the anger and hurt bubble up inside me. It was simply too much, the last straw on a confusing day. Everything was out of place and for some reason I felt betrayed. Just something more to add to my confusion as tears spilled down my cheeks and I turned away. Abruptly, I grabbed the handle for the door that had just closed, jerking it open again before leaving. I'd only made it a couple of steps before I broke out into a full sprint, sliding around corners as I made my way to the entrance of the building. I didn't care that I was tired. I didn't care about the soccer game. I didn't care about anything right then. I just needed to get away.

I was a good two blocks from the school when I finally slowed down. I could barely breathe with my chest so tight and the tears falling like rain from my eyes. My legs were threatening to collapse under me as I trudged towards my apartment complex, hoping that Kyle wasn't home. I didn't think I could explain why I was upset. I didn't even know why I was this upset. It wasn't like Serj wasn't a teenager with teenage hormones and apparently gay if the rumours were true. Which, after seeing that, I supposed they were. I bit my lip hard as a stabbing pain tore through my chest, dropping me to my knees as more silent sobs broke loose.

I had no idea how I made it home. I couldn't remember picking myself up or walking the rest of the way to the apartment building, but I must have. I couldn't remember unlocking the door or where I'd dropped my stuff or how I'd ended up in my bed, but I was there. I was curled up in my bed, my pillow clutched tightly in my arms as I hid my face in it. My thoughts were swirling a million miles a minute in circles around gym class and the locker room and I wanted nothing more than for it all to stop. I wanted to close my eyes, pretend none of it had ever happened, or even better, not open them again. I didn't want to remember today, but the images were burned into my memory and kept tugging and poking at me.

It seemed to take forever, but eventually everything slowed down and my body relaxed. Unfortunately, even sleep didn't protect me from the images I didn't want to see as my mind flashed through memories both new and old. Images of Serj kissing Ricky were followed by images of my mother in one of her drunken rampages. Those were followed by the random harassment at my previous school after they'd decided that I was gay. Still there were dreams of Skylar, Serj and Kyle all walking away and leaving me completely alone. That hurt the most and scared me to death. I didn't want to be abandoned. I didn't want to be left completely alone.
So... for all of you who have been harassing ~SkyeFox and I for kissy kissy scenes and hurrying up and getting Nikolai and Serj together... Please do enjoy!

*proceeds to build a fortress and hides behind the walls with ~SkyeFox from the mob*

First: [link]

Next: [link]

Like Monster, this story is going to have sides written by ~SkyeFox and ~Aranicoshi so please check out [link] by :iconskyefox: and [link] by :iconaranicoshi:
© 2010 - 2024 Soleste81
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GemPhantomRox's avatar
NOOOOOO!
How could you do this. Why?! D:
Can Serj marry me? Please say yes.